A few weeks ago, I had a session with my incredible business coach. We had been together a little over a year at that point and she wanted to help me celebrate my accomplishments, which is never easy for me, because like many people, it is so much easier to rush on to what is next.
She handed me a piece of paper, and the hair started to rise on the back of my neck. Thirteen months previously, during one of our first sessions, she had asked me what I wanted. I said I wanted to feel successful, like an adult. She asked me what it would take to feel that way, and I listed 10 big things, and as I read through the list (that I didn’t even remember writing), I accomplished or was very close to accomplishing every single of them. As I read them slowly, a lot of feeling started pouring forth; pride, disbelief, expansion, confusion. How did this all happen?!?
Why did the hair stand up? Because it felt creepy (in a good way). I didn’t even REMEMBER writing those things down and I accomplished them. It also felt like I had a strange introspection into a part of my psyche a year ago that I didn’t remember existing.
Thirteen months ago was the first time I really had the SPACE to ask myself what I really wanted. That in and of itself was incredibly powerful. I needed that space to gain the CLARITY so I could get out from underneath the crippling weight of anxiety. Up until that point, my mind was so filled with the mud and minutia of every day life; Facebook, my iPhone, the daily grind, the SHOULDS of how things are supposed to look, the fears, the self-flagellation, the OVERWHELM. I would do ANYTHING to keep myself from being alone with that. Every second of the day was filled with noise, chatter, food, drink, podcasts, music, reality TV, anything that would stimulate my senses and create an escape. There was no room for clarity, and I think, in a way, I wanted that. Clarity felt inconvenient. What if it caused me to make actual choices?
If you have been on Facebook, you may have seen Louie CK’s clip from Conan O’Brien where he explains why he doesn’t let his girls have cell phones. If you haven’t, PLEASE WATCH NOW. It’s right below.
As you will see when you watch it, he details why it is important to give yourself the SPACE to feel feelings, some of which are uncomfortable, because they guide us into incredible insight into being a FREAKING human being.
FEELING stuck, overwhelmed, sad, disappointed and tense is what led me to seek support, to get out of my own way and hire a business coach. It led to me a person and a space that helped me to figure out what it was I most wanted and what was standing in the way of that vision. And let me tell you, what was most standing in the way was me. My beliefs about myself, about money, about my strengths and my weaknesses, how other people felt about me, were standing directly in the way of taking my next step. Without the space to gain that clarity, I could have spent the next five or ten years spinning in circles, chasing my own tail and growing more and more discontent, completely separated from my intuition and living in my own self-sabotage.
As Louis CK says in the clip above, sometimes we need to tune out the noise and be ALONE with our humanity, to let there be silence. Space begets feeling and eventually realization. However uncomfortable that realization is, it brings us to where we are supposed to be on our journey. The more we fill our existence with white noise, the more confused we get, the more stuck we feel.
Here’s the kicker….you already have all the answers about what you are wanting. You are the genius. Sometimes, you just need help translating the language. CLICK TO TWEET!
When we give ourselves the space to connect to our intuition, to our feelings and deepest desires, we can connect to what they actually LOOK like, SMELL like, FEEL like, and we start to manifest that. Take me for example. I forgot I was even creating it and I created it! It starts with sitting in silence and asking yourself what you are feeling, and where those feelings are coming from. It starts with letting that vision paint itself before your eyes and still not knowing exactly how it is going to happen. It starts with seeking support when you feel you can’t do it on your own.
Whether you are trying to increase your energy, lose weight, get on track with your career, find spirituality in your life, learn how to be happy and fulfilled, you must tap into your own inner artist, and listen to what he or she is saying. We can only hear those whispers in silence. For me, I needed a safe space. I needed someone to ask me what I wanted. I needed her to hold my hand as I worked up the courage to say out loud the things that scared the living daylights out of me.
In working with clients, the first thing we do is get SUPER clear on
what it is they are wanting, even if they come to the session not feeling sure of what they want. This is where the spark happens and change truly begins. Without this step, moving forward is REALLY hard and we can spend years with our boots stuck in the mud.
How do you feel like you can slow down and create the space for your own clarity this week?
Leave your comments below!
Rock On and Be Well,