Last night, while speaking to my client about their recent moment of “falling of the beam” with food, I looked down at my nails and laughed. I could totally relate! I have recently had some moments of dis-empowerment with food (I literally started eating Levi’s food while I was feeding him…a lot), and also realized that my cuticles were bitten down to the quick. This is ALWAYS valuable information for me, just as it was with my clients because it shows me that something is going on with me and I’m not being present with it.
When I ask myself what is going on, when I take that moment, it is clear. The truth is, right now in my life, I’m a little freaked out. I am anxious. I am experiencing my dear friend fear again and she manifests as low level anxiety living underneath my sternum all day long.
Well, I’m starting to dream even bigger. For a little while, that stalled because there was so much focus on my baby, but now that he is ten months old, my thoughts are again returning to how I am going to continue to create in my business and it is scaring me how big I’m going.
My recent Ted X Broadway talk sparked something in me, and a new vision is opening up, and I’m realizing it may not be in the distant future anymore, that the time to start creating this vision is very soon. It will be time to start entering the arena of change and growth, and it scares the hell out of me.
Part of is that I don’t know my next steps, and I get SUPER overwhelmed, which of course leads to total paralysis. Just thinking about HOW makes my head start to spin and I feel a little like I might throw up. Of course the voices come in as well.
Who are you to think you can do that?
Everyone will reject you.
You are a total fraud (that one is my favorite!)
It is REALLY hard to believe that the dream I have for myself is possible. And I know I’m not alone!
Through the lens of my work, someone may come to me wanting something desperately (to have the body they are desiring, to fall in love, to succeed in their chosen career, to change careers or to let go of past pain). I try to help them identify the ideas and stories from their past that keep them stuck, that keep them hiding. But sometimes, they have a really hard time BELIEVING that it can happen for them, so they start hiding, settling, lose steam. They have ten thousand examples why they can’t lose weight, how people don’t love them, how they are outsiders, unworthy, unloveable, unsuccessful, that they are broken or defective in some way. They have evidence for their stories, and it feels pretty damn air-tight to them. When we try to dis-prove the theory, it just doesn’t really shift things for them. Again, it FEELS so real. Why bother when you are going to fail anyway?
Que the amazing quote from Wayne Dyer:
“The Wright brothers didn’t contemplate the staying on the ground of things. Alexander Graham Bell didn’t contemplate the non-communication of things. Thomas Edison didn’t contemplate the darkness of things. In order to float an idea into reality you have to be willing to somersault into the inconceivable and land on your feet.”
The problem is that you can’t always convince someone that something is possible because their past will tell them it is not.
So, what do you do when the story feels too real?
You ask a powerful question:
WHAT IF it was possible?
What is your vision for yourself ? Let yourself to go the REAL THING (not the watered down version).
Yes, it is certainly possible that this dream is impossible. But what if it wasn’t?
WHAT IF it is a total possibility? What would your NEXT step be? Or what COULD potential next steps be?
Sometimes that can just give us a little bit of space where possibility felt clamped shut.
WHAT IF you knew that this time next year you successfully lost weight and are keeping it off, no problemo? How would that affect how you are SHOWING UP now?
WHAT IF you knew that two years from now you would be happily married to your person and blissfully in love?
It would probably affect your emotional state today because you would be living into a different future. It would probably affect how you show up in the arena of opportunity; whether or not you went to a speed-dating night, or coffee, or how you allow yourself to really connect on a date.
WHAT IF can be a powerful question because it doesn’t require that you BUY INTO IT completely. It requires that you just leave a tiny bit more space for it, and in that tiny space of possibility, you can play, you can explore, you can have fun with it, and take the pressure off.
And usually, that is where the good stuff lies.
Think of all the times in your life where you were CONVINCED something was impossible, and then your whole belief system was turned on its head.
Maybe it felt impossible that anyone would ever find you attractive and lo and behold, THEY DID.
Maybe it felt impossible that you could have a certain professional accolade, and then YOU DID.
Maybe it felt impossible that you could ever make a certain amount of money, and then YOU DID.
And little by little, a belief system died. The impossible became possible.
So, think of something in your life that FEELS impossible and ask yourself the question, what if it wasn’t? How would I speak, act and show up differently in my life? How would I commit differently?
It may be time to let go of believing 100% in your dream, and just asking “WHAT IF?”
Rock On & Be Well,