A couple days ago, while cleaning out an old-filing cabinet, I found something that stopped me in my tracks.
It was an exercise I had completed while training to become a coach. At the time, I was an actor who was struggling to make ends meet, who was relying financially on my mother when I couldn’t, who was struggling with weight-loss, self-worth, and who struggled a lot with self-judgment.
The current me is very grateful to the former me for taking the time to do this exercise back in the day.
Here is some of what I said I wanted six years ago:
An apartment filled with light and hardwood floors (got it)
Clients I am excited by who trust and respect me (love my peeps!)
To be creating products that help people (three group programs and creating a pod-cast and book)
To get more involved with helping the elderly (just got an amazing new opportunity to head up a project doing just this)
A flexible career that allows me stability and the ability to be a Mom (check)
To feel at peace in my body (yes, even moreso after pregnancy)
To feel stable financially (now I can support a child…what?!?)
To feel a part of something bigger than myself (big time)
To experience deep self-expression and creativity (I experience it in my business instead of in acting these days, but it is there more than ever)
To love myself instead of being cruel to myself (in process but getting there)
To develop my spiritual side and understanding my beliefs (bringing my spirituality into my programs more and more)
To break free from my food obsession (rarely think about food)
To develop a business that I’m proud of and is lucrative (check)
To be out of “survival mode” (Thank the heavens above!)
To trust my own abilities (taking bigger chances on my abilities every day)
I don’t remember writing any of this six years ago but I can honestly say, every single one of these tenets of the vision I created that day have been fulfilled or are pretty far along in the process (many of them in ways I couldn’t have predicted). When I saw this vision written out, my hair stood up on the back of my neck because somehow it came to fruition six years later in beautiful synchronicity.
I believe (I’m saying this because I’m no longer apologizing for my woo-woo-ness) that life helped me to co-create this vision I had for myself. Time and again in my life, I have met just the right person at just the right time, in odd ways, that changed the course of my life, my business, my awareness of myself…and gave me the opportunity to fulfill this vision. And I have also seen this with my clients over and over again. What one person may call coincidence, I am starting to see as synchronicity.
The beginning of co-creating with life/the universe/source energy/intention/love/the divine (whatever you want to call it) is gaining clarity on WHAT you actually want to create with it, and then getting super specific. My acting teacher used to say “Generality is the death of art!” Well, generality is the death of your vision for yourself.
I dared to write down what it is I wanted and then I spoke it out loud. That is where the creation began. This can be a huge act of courage because as soon as we write it down and then speak it, the vulnerability of fear can come in. What if I never get it? What if I fail? What if that proves I’m broken/useless/incapable?
Once we get super clear, when we allow ourselves to visualize and really “go there”, something deeper imprints into our consciousness and onto our bones, and we may start to pursue that vision, step by step, sometimes without even noticing that we are walking that path. Over time, as we live more life and hold that vision for ourselves, understanding that failures are merely teachers about how to get better, our thoughts and beliefs start to align with the possibility of this vision coming to fruition and it the energy behind the vision picks up momentum.
Yes, it takes work. Yes, it takes our courage. Yes, sometimes it involves big sacrifice.
Focus on the stair in front of you. You don’t need to see the whole staircase yet.
There is no way I couldn’t have predicted the steps that would lead me to today, to the teachers I would come across, the mentors, the opportunities. Yet, they led me to where I am in this moment, having gotten what I wished for and in some ways, more than I could have wished for.
So, how can you set goals and still allow life to co-create WITH you? Well, this is a little thang called Conscious Creation.
Step #1 Get Super Clear on Your Vision
Try on the coat that the vision you have for yourself is yours for a reason, that whatever inspiration is grabbing hold of you is giving you crucial cues about what feelings your deepest self/soul/core-self/spirit/sacred self is craving in your life. What you want NOW is what you want to focus on, knowing that it may shift and transform as you move through your life, so it’s great to keep checking in with yourself asking “what am I noticing that I want now?”
Your vision is an expression of your desire and your core self is using your current perceptions of what will provide you will those feelings to your next steps. Think of your emotional life as a tuning fork for your ultimate purpose. And you will know when you aren’t in alignment with that tuning fork because more than likely, you will feel negative emotion around it.
Allow yourself to really visualize this for yourself, use your imagination and allow yourself to feel what that would feel like. Let yourself be taken away by it. You are activating something important when you get into the “feeling” state.
Step #2 Align Your Thoughts With Your Vision
The more you believe in your vision, the more it becomes possible. Why? Well, I could get all meta-physical on you (which I’m more than happy to do) about how you attract the energy you put out, and if you believe something is truly impossible, then you are creating within that reality, and will get lots of that energy in return. But even if that isn’t your jam, practically speaking, if you believe something is impossible, it affects your emotional state around it, which will affect how you step into action in that area of your life. So, a high-impact state is to investigate the stories or negative energy you hold in the area you believe is impossible, so you can start to let go of them, and connect with possibility and hope.
Step #3 Take High-Leverage Action (Just look for the actions occurring to you now, that are in your vision)
You don’t need to know the whole HOW, the blueprint of exactly how this vision will come to fruition. That would be impossible. A lot of the how will enter into your periphery in ways you couldn’t have expected. There are many ways you can START to pursue that vision now…so choose the one that you have the least amount of resistance towards.
Example: Hiring a coach was never in my periphery when it came to my business. Then, I met someone through school introduced to Jeanne because we were both wanting to share a co-working office. We had wine before signing the lease together and I decided to use the money I would have spent on an office to hire her. We spent the next three years coaching with her on and off. She wound up being instrumental in my financial stability and developing a business I love.
Take the action that appears in front of you, which will lead to the next action, then to a new teacher, then to another action, then to a connector, then to another action.
Everything, everything, everything (even if it appears “negative”) can become a teachable moment for who you are, what is important to you, and how to take your next steps.
This does require, however, than when opportunity presents itself, you don’t run in the other direction.
Step #4 Surrender to How and When Your Vision Shows Up
Some call this the “Art of Allowing.” I LOVE that.
This is one of the most important parts of the equation. When you choke-hold your vision, and reject anything that doesn’t look exactly like you thought it should, you reject opportunity and possibility. Again, EVERYTHING is your teacher in this laboratory. So, getting what you want requires that you take those first three steps and then surrender completely.
As Mick Jagger would say/sing:
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need
You can’t know when the vision will circle back around and provide you with your request and sometimes it may wind up coming in different packaging than you thought. I never would have thought that I would essentially be writing about the law of attraction! Or that I would be open about my craving for spiritual investigation. Me six years ago couldn’t have predicted HOW I would get all the good I asked for, and there were certainly tough times that if you had taken a temperature check on how I thought I was doing, I would have told you “failure-cold!”
But when I take the temperature check now, the water feels amazing and has for a while now.
You may not get this vision on your timeline and it may be wearing different clothing than you thought, but if you keep visualizing and aligning your thoughts and actions, you just might find, you get even more than you asked for, that the you who began the journey couldn’t have foreseen the treasures on the path.
Rock On & Be Well,